The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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