He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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