Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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