Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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