Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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