dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize