I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
