I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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