my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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