and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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