im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Randomize
