The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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