4 words: hood of his car
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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