planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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