i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
Randomize
