just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
