____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Randomize
