i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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