ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
