i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
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