these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
