i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
