Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
