I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
