the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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