I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
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