Plan B is the new Plan A
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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