So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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