If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
