Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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