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did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Randomize
