I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
Randomize
