We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
