I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize
