So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
