i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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