So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Reggie can tackle my bush.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
