Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
