Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
we should paint friendship bongs
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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