I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
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