the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need to wash the frat house off of me
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
