Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
