I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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