I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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