better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
