if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize