After last night, I could never be a politician.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
