Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
