I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
