Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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