First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize