I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Randomize
