If i come over, it means nothing
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
