I faked an abortion last night.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
