And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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