the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
