with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Randomize
