If that was your dad, he is hot
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize