Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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