In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
