worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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