The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize