Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Randomize
