If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
