i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
My vagina just recognized that song.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
