from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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