Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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