She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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