When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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